At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
