I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
