Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
