so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
