I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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