So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
