I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize