1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize