Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
