sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize