I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
