We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
