woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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