great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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