i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
