hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
