You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
