he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize