My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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