I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
pray to the hookup gods
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize