Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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