I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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