it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
