What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He? As in you personified your dick?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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