You just made me feel so damn special
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
