Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
