how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
