Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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