My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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