just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
