You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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