just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
