Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
