i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
