There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
