I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
