I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
