I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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