As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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