OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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