I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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