I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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