i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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