I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I am naked and annoyed.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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