your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
wow bdsm is so cute
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