Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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