you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize