That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
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