apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
