What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
