cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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