You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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