i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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