when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
