He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
