Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
