if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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