Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
