PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
